Roomies Suck in a Bad Way

I've been living with my roommates for only one semester now... and I'm already moving out. The fourth grade was the last time I've had to share a room with somebody, and it was with my 4-year-old sister. Of course, she didn't act like an anti-social cynic or track muddy water into the kitchen while I was walking around in my white socks.

I have encountered anything more irritating than my roommate's alarm clock. Without fail, it goes off every morning, "--illy six degrees today. Better bust out those shovels, huh Janice? In other news, Miley Cyrus was reported..." and he somehow manages to sleep for at least ten minutes through it, only to struggle over to the end of his bed and slam the snooze button so the process can start again in another five minutes. One time, with no exaggeration, he slept/snooze/slept/snoozed for over a freaking hour. Needless to say, I get up on the wrong side of the bed some mornings, not to mention his cacophonous snoring every night.

In addition to the horrors I face when I sleep, there is a long list of complaints that I could file to the Roomie Etiquette Police, but I'm saving my breath for a longer life expectancy. In any case, I'm moving next door to live with my hot neighbors (who walk around in their underwear all the time) next week. I'm sure I can handle anything they throw at me then.