Sunday, May 9, 2010

Why Closet Cases Remain So

Last week, one of my friends from high school called me unexpectedly when I was on my way to work. She's an intelligent, albeit close-minded, Mormon who is betrothed at the ripe age of 19.

In a nutshell, she saw a post on some guy's Facebook wall about him wanting to go on a second date with me. I thought that I would have to come out to her right then and there while marching up the steps to BYU campus. Fortunately, I was able to quickly make up a story about how there must be some confusion after he and I had grabbed food at McDonald's one time.

Then, my friend said something along the lines of, "Why are you hanging out with these people? I don't want you hanging with the wrong crowd. You're easily impressionable. I mean, he's gay."

I have a few issues with this:
  • This post wasn't even on my Facebook wall, which means that she was essentially Facebook stalking me and the people on my Friends list.
  • Who was she to confront me about this? As a friend, she should be concerned, but supportive. Instead, she rebuked me for my choice of friends for a good 10 minutes.
  • Gee, thanks for filling in the role of my mom. I haven't seen you since we graduated, and you're only 9 months older than me; I don't need you telling me who I can or cannot hang out with.
Granted, she's still a teenager, so I can't expect her to handle a situation like this with the maturity of say, a parent, but she should have taken a less accusatory stance and reprimanded less even as a friend.

I completely understand now that I will not be coming out to her anytime in the near future... Unless she "stumbles" upon some more incriminating Facebook information.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Home Bittersweet Home

While I wait for my next housing contract to start, I moved back home for the next month or so, where I get free food, the use of a vehicle, and free laundry facilities!

Along with wireless internet that works about half the time, a room that feels like an icebox, and a midnight curfew. MIDNIGHT.

Oh yeah, and there's a drum set where my bed used to be.

Despite all that, I love my family, and I was very glad to be back home for a little bit, but those good feelings didn't last too long. Usually, it only takes a few days, but this time, my mother and I managed to go a week before exploding our emotions all over each other in a barrage of accusations and tears.

My mom and I are very close. We are very similar in that we are both stubborn as rocks, and very different in that she believes that I can "pray out the gay." She's fully aware that my faith in the church is dwindling, and that just fuels her desire to push me towards spiritual activities.

For example, today she wanted me to give my father a priesthood blessing (no way in hell I'm worthy to do that), and she wanted to enroll me in a missionary boot camp for a few days this summer.

Hence the explosion.