No Sh**!!! Zone: March

I've decided to resurrect the No Sh**!!! Zone because-- well, because it's just so darn clever. From now on, I'll be doing (or at least trying to do) Abelard Enigma's theme of the month. No bull. No shit. It's the No sh**!!! Zone.

For March, the theme is First Meaningful Kiss. When I think of meaningful kisses, I think of The Sound of Music, at the end of the "16 Going on 17" scene: Liesl and Future Nazi are dancing around the gazebo, and then... Nazi grabs Liesl and plants one on her! She runs out into the rain, screaming!

For my first kiss, I was laying on my bed, blindfolded and half-naked, when I was then attacked by my inexperienced schoolmate. Kinky Chink! Not very romantic. It also didn't help that he was an awful kisser (felt like I was kissing a freaking carp) and dropped gum on my face.

Admittedly, the sight of an attractive guy locking eyes and leaning in towards me definitely sets my heart a-pounding, but what is that, really? Adrenaline rush? It then leads to full-on making out, which --don't get me wrong-- is a hell of a good time, but is something I find to be more geared towards arousal than affection.

Looking back, my first kisses with guys have all been pretty earthy. I don't know when I'll have my first "meaningful" kiss-- the one that'll send me, flushed and and anxious, from the safety of a gazebo into the pouring rain.

*Note: I failed my New Year's Resolution, like most people do, but I haven't given up! I started anew with my "Whore No More" goal. Maybe I'll receive a meaningful kiss now!