This last week, my boss was out of town, which meant that Pandora was blasting its music in the office the entire week. To avoid the risk of having one of the professors overhear "Bedrock" by L'il Wayne or "Don't Trust Me" by 3oh3, I set the station to Disney and sang along to songs I hadn't listened to for years. Then this song came on...
I love Mulan! Despite the movie being a giant chink-a-thon, Mulan kicks ass. Admit it; she's got the most balls of all the Disney chicas, which is perfect for her cross-dressing...
In any case, one line of the song in particular caught my attention: "Now I see that if I were truly to be myself, I would break my family's heart." (0:18-0:32)
My god. Mulan and I have so much in common. So as the movie progresses, Mulan defies gender stereotypes, kicks some major Hun booty, saves the emperor, and restores honor to the Fa family.
Wish I could have that storybook ending, but for now, I must endure dishonoring my own family with my sexuality. How long must I live under the guise of a celibate Mormon? How can I avoid hurting my family more than I already have?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
Quit caring so much. Your life is about you. They can either deal with it or not. Your sexuality and the endeavors that come along with it is your business. Its between you and your creator, and no one else unless YOU choose to let them in. Quit whining and live your life.
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