Saturday, July 31, 2010

To Catch a Cheater


I blame my recent lack of posts on the going-ons we've been having in the Big Gay House. Here's one especially interesting adventure, brought to you by Boskers and yours truly:

A few months ago, my friend brought over a compulsively lying, married BYU student to our apartment, aware that I knew this man's name wasn't really "Greg," that he wasn't really single, and that he wasn't practicing abstinence when it comes to other men, all of which he was claiming to be to my friend.

So, what did I do? I came downstairs, loudly saying, "Oh, hello KENDON. How are you doing?"
I saw his eyes widen, and he said, "My name's Greg. You must have me confused with someone else."
"Oh, alright 'Greg,' (I used my fingers to quotation mark his name) How's the married life treating ya?"
"I'm not married."
"Riiiiight..." (as I started to log online to the emails we had exchanged about a year ago)
"There's a guy who looks exactly like me. People confuse us all the time."
"Huh. Well, it was nice seeing you again GREG." And with that I went upstairs, leaving Greg/Kendon with my friend and my roommates.

Unsurprisingly, he left about five minutes later, mumbling something about having to help his friend with something. The next day, he sent me a few nasty emails for calling him out on his lies.

I suppose I should have felt bad for doing something so beyotchy and keeping him from having his way with my friend. However, I feel somewhat justified because "Greg" was trying to seduce me when I was 17 while his fiancee was out shopping for her wedding dress.

I don't really have any respect for those kinds of guys, who enter a marriage already cheating, and knowing that they will cheat during the relationship. It's one thing to struggle with homosexual feelings and not being able to figure things out until marriage, but what "Greg" was doing was a different matter altogether.

9 comments:

  1. He totally deserved it simply due to the fact that he is married. I would have done the same thing. What a prick... that's something I just can't respect at all.

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  2. Well, I have a little different take on it. Yes, he is doing wrong. For himself, for his gay acquaintances and, most especially, for his wife. He and she will ultimately have some pretty nasty consequences from his lies.

    But before we judge him too harshly, let's remember he's human. And he's caught in that impossible world. I can only guess at the pressure he felt to do the "right" thing and get married, have a family, yada yada yada.

    I'm not defending his actions, which will only bring him misery. I just can't help but empathize with his plight and the incredible pressure he feels.

    On the other hand, perhaps, Twinky, you did him a favor. At some point he might sense that the embarrassment and discomfort he obviously felt is only a small dose of what is coming if he doesn't right the ship sooner rather than later.

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  3. It's one thing to struggle with the conflicting pressures of being gay and married IF you got married out of an honest sense of duty and trying to do the right thing and were trying to keep your commitments.

    It's quite another to cheat with another guy while you're engaged to a girl and then keep up the infidelity after you've promised otherwise, with a false identity and other ruses. On that I agree with Evan. The guy deserved everything you did.

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  4. Rob's point is well taken. I do suppose the seducing Twinky while preparing for a wedding is a bit over the top. One would hope that this young man could at least keep his commitment for the short period of a Mormon engagement.

    But, as I've grown older, my ability to have compassion for an unfortunate soul like this doesn't depend on my perception of his moral rectitude, or lack thereof. Once again, he is the one who will ultimately suffer most for his lies.

    Twinky, I hope you understand that I wasn't being critical of what you did. I'm sure I would have done the same thing you did faced with the same situation at your age. Again, I wonder if your "outing" of him wasn't a nudge towards rethinking his actions.

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  5. Oh, the tangled web we weave.

    I once unintentionally exposed or "outed" a friend of mine who was cheating on her husband. But at the same time I didn't know she was cheating either.

    It was back in college. I was talking with a guy I had met in the computer lab. We discovered that we both knew the same girl. He then told me that they went out the other night. And I said something like "really, you know she's married don't you?"

    He turned beat red and stormed away.

    Apparently he thought he was "porking" a potential new girlfriend.

    Drama ensues.

    I ended up right in the middle of it.

    Awkward.

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  6. This actually clears up some questions I had a few months ago when his connexion profile was outed on a gossip blog.

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  7. LOL, now it makes sense why he deleted his connexion profile and made a new one.

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