Today was Fast and Testimony Meeting in Sacrament. This last weekend was also Missionary Bootcamp, which I (thank God) was able to opt out of because of our family vacation. Unfortunately, the future missionaries in our ward marched up to the podium, one by one, to deliver their testimonies about what an amazing and spiritual experience they had over the past few days. I looked over at my mom, whose face grew more and more sour with each heartfelt message. Afterwards, she turned to me and whispered, "It's hard for me to watch these young men and know that I won't have the same honor their parents do. I'm still not giving up hope for your mission."
My stomach twisted into a knot. How was I supposed to respond? "Don't," I said, "You're only setting yourself up for disappointment."
"You don't think I'm already disappointed?" And with that, she turned back to the speaker.
Then, between sessions, this lady in our ward I hardly know came up to me. "I know it's none of my business, but you need to go on a mission," she said intently. Before I could tell her to bugger off, she went on a tirade of how much it blessed her son's life and her life and blah blah blah...
I know this is just the beginning. I haven't even turned 19 yet, and already people are on my case about my decision. I can't imagine how many more times I'll have to explain myself over the next two years and how many persistent exhortations I'll have to fend off.
On a happier note, I'm moving into an apartment with 3 bisexual guys tomorrow, so at least I'll be able to avoid an earful of this tiresome missionary talk in my own home.
I came home early from a mission. Twice! It's a long story. But the first time was after four weeks in the MTC. People actually had the nerve to ask me why I'd come home and when I was going back. I got so tired of it I finally told them that I came home because I was crazy. That shut them up pretty quick, and avoided unpleasant follow up questions.
ReplyDeleteThe second time I came home, it was after 1 1/2 years (my grandma always loves to say that that was once a whole mission, bless her heart). Looking back I realize that a good portion of why I couldn't handle it was because I was gay. And, no, I wasn't about to tell people that.
Here's what I found out: Sooner or later people will stop asking. Yes, if you stay active, you will have to hear about it for a while - a lot of "so when are you leaving?". But I also discovered that most people don't mean anything by it, so I learned to just kind of bite my tongue.
When someone asks you about if you're going, when you're going, why haven't you gone yet, etc., just say this: "I'll forgive you for asking such an intrusive personal question if you forgive me for not answering."
ReplyDeleteDont let anyone tell you how to run your own life. Sometimes, people are just little bit nosy.
ReplyDeleteIf there is someone ask you a question that you dont like to answer, just give smile and leave them or change the topic immediately.
Joned ^_^
I went on a mission to please other people (my dad, mom, people in the ward, member friends), and I regret it wholeheartedly. If you don't want to go, that's up to you and none other's business. We're not here to live lives that please other people's "needs." I'm sorry you're mom more or less said that she was disappointed. as for that one lady who talked about how it blessed her son - I have yet to really see how my mission has blessed mine. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough?
ReplyDeleteHmm.. I'd give you hug right now... but you know it'd just be awkward. :)
ReplyDeleteMaybe redefining "mission" would help a bit here. You could reply: "I'm already on my mission. I was sent here from another planet to teach you earthlings about our ways. When could my companion here and I could come and visit you? Don't tell me you can't see him either. He's standing right here."
ReplyDeleteA close friend of mine, who was dating the Bishop's RM son, was standing by the notice board in the chapel when the Stake President's wife came over and stood by her.
ReplyDeleteThe sister proceeded to ask my friend, "so when are you and Jason getting married?" To which my friend replied "Married" Why on earth would be get married, we're shacking up next week, we don't need marriage".
My friend was sick and tired of people asking that question so she thought she'd say something to shut her up.
FYI: in case "shacking up" doesn't translate for the US, it means moving in with one another.
Cheers
db
Sydney
Australia
for the love of God move out of Utah. I am Mormon, a mother of 2, and married. I however will never pressure my children (1 boy 1 girl) to go on missions. I will encourage them to make their own choice. I guess being a convert helps me have a greater perspective on the whole missionary thing. I apprecite those who choose missions, but honestly it isn't full time missionaries who should be doing the majority of mission work for the Church anyway. If those busy bodies are so concerned about missionary work they should look to their own actions and see how much missionary service they have been doing in their own lives.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I think it is awsome that you have come to terms with yout own sexuality. I think that if the Mormons who give you a hard time really understood the Plan of Happiness they would leave you alone and worry about their own shortcomings. I went to BYU for only one year because I couldn't stand how people went to church on Sundays and acted like the devil inacarnate during teh week.