Sunday, January 24, 2010

I'm a banana

That's not me, by the way. Frick, if I knew Miley Cyrus, I'd be milking that for all it's worth.

*Just a disclaimer: No racism or offense is intended in this post or any other posts on this blog.

I hate being Asian. There, I said it. I've hated being Asian for the longest time. I don't hate Asians, nor do I think them inferior in any way. However, being raised in Utah Valley, where just about everyone else is white as (pardon me) rice, I've never learned to love my Asian roots. I'm a banana! Yellow on the outside; white on the inside. Please, peel me. I mean, just think about the stereotypical Asian.

Asians:
are nerds
are skinny
have flat noses
have squinty eyes

How many Asians do you see model for Abercrombie? In comparison, how many Asians do you see playing the lead character of a movie? Guys here in Utah Valley aren't usually attracted to Asians. The guys who do are needles in this haystack called Utah.

I just don't get it. Of course I'm never going to hook that really hot guy at that party. Of course not. Perhaps it's because I'm yellow. Perhaps I'm just unattractive. Perhaps I should move out of Utah. Or get a nose job. I don't understand it.

It's 1 o'clock in the morning, I'm getting a mini-hangover from tonight, and I'm blitching (blog bitching) about why guys aren't attracted to me. Fuck me. In foresight, I'll probably look back on this moment of self-pity and delete this post, but as for now, I'm wallowing in that self-pity.

Now I have to go do my homework for tomorrow, which just so happens to be math. How ironic.

6 comments:

  1. Asian...maybe it's an acquired taste? Where I grew up, the Asian kids were always the top of the food chain. So it was weird moving to Utah and being seen as Mexican/Native American. When I was trying to date girls, I noticed that white girls often dismissed me just because I wasn't tall, blue-eyed, and blond. But then again, it was probably just my inferiority complex (and the fact that I never really tried since I didn't want to date them anyway).

    Also, I've noticed that some people love Broadway-musical-based movies, but often they don't know Flower Drum Song. Why? Because it stars and is about Asian Americans? Idk.

    As far as being Asian goes, just be thankful you're not a fob. Or worse, a pob. :)

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  3. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Listen to what Elston told you, and delete this damn post.

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  4. Okay, A.) Abercrombie has had and currently has an Asian male model. (Rather attractive too) So you're wrong about that.

    B.) There ARE Asian actors that play leads. Just because you are unaware of them does not mean they do not exist. For example: Lucy Liu, Sandra Oh, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, Chow Yun Fat, George Takei, Maggie Q, Zhang Ziyi, Gong Li, Telia Tequila (okay not a real actor, but famous all the same), both Dean Cain and VANESSA HUDGENS are part Asian. Just to name a few. So that part of your sob story isn't any good either.

    Now.

    You are right. Being Asian probably does inhibit you from dating guys. But, it's your own fault. Guys don't dislike you because you're Asian (well, some proably do), guys dislike you because they can tell that you are so insecure with yourself and that is a big turnoff. It's the same thing with fat girls. There are fat girls that will be alone and miserable for the rest of their lives because they won't let themselves be happy. They don't think anyone could love them because they are fat and so no one does. On the other hand, you see HUGE girls that are married and deliriously happy. Why? It's not because some guy went out one day and was like, I'm going to bag myself a fatty! No. That's not how it works. If you can just let yourself be you and embrace it, the way people will view you will change. Not just romantically either.

    I know some seriously cool Asians out there that I would totally bone, and they didn't get there by being embarrassed of something they cannot change. So stop hating yourself and where you come from you little bitch and be happy that you don't actually live in your home country of China, and are making Ralph Lauren Polo's for 21 cents an hour. This can be a good thing if you let it.

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  5. Okay, you made me feel bad last night, so let me explain what I meant. In your pics you look all serious and have an attractive, slightly murderous look, but in person you're animated and smiley. So you're different from your pics, but I meant it in a pleasantly surprised sort of way. Same page? Ok, good. :)

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  6. Twinky Chink, you are correct. Asians can never find love. They will all die alone and be buried in a shallow grave where they will be dug up by pandas who will eat their flesh.

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